After 15 years of witnessing weddings on a regular basis, I can say many moms are as excited about your wedding day as you are. For this reason alone, making sure to carve out some extra special touches and moments just for mom, is a must, in my opinion. With that said, here are a few ways to honor mom throughout the planning process and on your wedding day.
TAKE HER ADVICE
Your mother wants the best for you every step of the way. Every family dynamic is different but if you’re in the position where you are the main decision maker throughout the process, be sure to take your mom’s advice as much as possible. Allowing her to help select details such as invitations or incorporating her favorite bloom will go a long way in ensuring she feels included in this day. While you and she may not agree on every detail regarding the wedding, it is a great way to compromise and celebrate her at the same time.
GET SOME ALONE TIME
Whether it’s something as official as a hike or massage together on the morning of, or simply just carving out some time to have breakfast together, make sure you get a little downtime with your mom on the wedding day. Remember it’s a huge day for her too and you don’t want to allow the day to go by without soaking the moment in together. Whatever it is, be sure to schedule it in advance or it won’t happen. The day is a whirlwind and can take on a mind of it’s own if you let it. Make sure mom knows in advance that you want this time together and enjoy every minute.
SPECIAL DANCE
Surprise her and her spouse with their very own first dance. At Savannah and Will’s wedding, her parents gave the welcome toast together. As soon as it was done, the band asked them to stay on the dance floor while they played the song her parents danced to at their wedding. Her mom had been such a rock during the entire process and it only felt right to celebrate her with a moment all her own.
GIVE HER AN HEIRLOOM
Creating a gift that your mom will keep forever is never more appropriate than on your wedding day. For Samantha and Matt’s wedding in Napa, Sam had us create a personalized handkerchief for her mom to use on the wedding day. It had a bunny on it as that was her mom’s nickname for her and a sentimental thank you note as well. It was a cherished gift on the wedding day and beyond.
GIVE HER HER OWN LOOK
It goes without saying that including your mom in the hair and makeup process will be super meaningful for her. And while you may already think to get your bridal party a beautiful robe or other attire to get ready in, don’t forget to pamper mom as well. We love seeing mom’s relaxed, comfortable and looking so chic in all of the getting ready pictures.
MAKE SURE SHE CAN RELAX AND ENJOY
Obviously I’m a proponent of wedding planners, but even if you don’t collaborate with a team like mine, I highly recommend at minimum bringing in a month of coordinator to wrap up all the loose ends. Without one, the last minute tasks, errands and coordination can often fall on you and your mom. Give her the gift of being present on your wedding day by ensuring you have the proper support throughout the final days and weeks leading up to the celebration.
PERSONALIZE EVERYTHING
Whatever you’re doing for your guests, step up a notch for your mom. If you’re giving a beautiful welcome gift to everyone, give your mom a more elevated package or even consider customizing her gift accordingly. For Jenny & Joe’s wedding in Mexico, the VIP’s including Joe’s mom had their name embroidered to help them stand apart just a touch. We loved seeing her carry her gift throughout the weekend with joy.
HAVE HER HELP YOU DRESS
Not to state the obvious, but having your mom help you dress is not only the perfect photo opportunity but it’s a wonderful way to honor your mom. Have her help you into your gown, tie your bow tie and assist with the final finishing touches before you walk down the aisle.
EMBRACE HER AS SHE IS
Whether she’s a social butterfly who loves the spotlight or a little more of a behind the scenes sort of mom, accept her for who she is and allow her to act accordingly. While some moms have been dreaming of giving a toast at their child’s wedding since birth, many others get hives at the thought of it. Whatever your hopes and expectations are when it comes to spotlight moments, talk to your mom about them in advance. Ask her what her preference is and accept it accordingly. You want your mom to enjoy the wedding day. If dancing with her son is what is going to make her happy, do it! If taking a seat while dad makes the welcome toast is going to ensure she stays anxiety free, make sure to accommodate.
INCLUDE HER IN YOUR PROCESSIONAL
While this may not be appropriate for every family, there’s a beautiful tradition in the Jewish faith where both parents walk their child down the aisle. While I love seeing the moment shared with the bride and her dad right before they have their walk, there’s something so lovely about having both parents walk you down since they both were such a big part of raising you. This is a more delicate detail to approach and I suggest talking to your dad about it first, but if he’s on board, I can promise your mom will feel beyond honored to be a part of this moment.
SCHEDULE A MINI PHOTOSHOOT JUST FOR THE TWO OF YOU
Whether at your rehearsal dinner or the wedding day itself, schedule 5 to 10 minutes with your photographer to just get images of the two of you. It doesn’t have to be overly posed or anything too involved. Simply making sure you have the time set aside will be enough for the right photographer to work their magic.
