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Dealing with Wedding Guest Gripes : Part I

May 18, 2010

Wow! That last series really got a lot of you worked up! I even had a few of you mad at me which made me a little sad, but the truth is, while the guests quoted in those articles were really harsh, there were definitely some relevant messages to consider from what your guests will and won’t notice at your wedding. I’ve said it before and I just want to remind everyone that I truly believe in the art of entertaining. And, while, I also think a wedding day should 100% reflect the couple’s style, personality, etc., I don’t believe it should be done so in a way that sacrifices the guest’s comfort. It’s your day…it’s your celebration…but you are still inviting several if not hundreds of people to be a part of that celebration, so again, while those opinions were rude, they are worth considering. Now, as mentioned before, you’ll never make everyone happy so don’t even try, but along with the amazing flowers, your one and only wedding gown and the other details, take some time to really focus on your guest’s comfort as well. They truly are one of the most important elements in having a successful celebration.

Since I NEVER like to stir the pot or make the planning more stressful than it needs to be, today, I wanted to touch on each of the complaints mentioned in the article and throw in my two cents…here it goes. Oh, and if you’re just tuning in and want to know what all of the fuss is about, click here, here and here.
YOUR TIMING STINKS
Again, the wording was harsh, but the message is true. Leaving your guests in limbo is definitely no fun and can ultimately loose the momentum in your event. People want to celebrate you and your union IMMEDIATELY. They’re excited. They’re ready to party and nothing can ruin a buzz like milling around a bookstore for two hours while waiting for the real party to begin. It can be unavoidable, believe me, I know! So, if for some reason this isn’t an option for you, maybe suggest a very casual get together for your guests to enjoy at a local restaurant or bar until the party begins.

YOU PICKED A BAD DAY
This complaint, along with most of the others, really is only one you would hear from acquaintances for distant friends. BUT, if you are hoping for their attendance on your day, you might want to avoid holidays where they will likely want to be with close family. Now, on the other hand, if you are hoping for an intimate celebration with the best of the best, then a holiday wedding is completely appropriate as you would have probably spent that day with those people anyway!

YOU’RE BORING US
I disagree for the most part with this one. I think most guests do really enjoy the ceremony. At least the guests that matter. BUT, what I do think is relevant from this comment is try to consider all of your guests when planning the evening. A head table of 30 of your closest friends when you only have 50 people at the wedding can leave people feeling left out, as can a song list that is filled with inside jokes. Also, this complaint isn’t so much about hiring a BAD band, as it is, hiring the type of entertainment that YOU would want to dance to. The truth is, guests will follow your lead, so if you want guests to dance, start dancing, but first start by hiring a band, dj or any other type of entertainment that you would actually want to dance to…

THE FOOD ISN’T GREAT
I’m not sure how many guests actually think their gift is in exchange for an amazing dinner, but, I can say if you are having an over-the-top wedding where it is obvious you broke the bank to create a breathtaking atmosphere, you set the expectation that the food will be amazing. Many couples focus so much on the design and decor that they forget about the food. Guests like a beautiful party for so long, but if after a bit, they don’t have decent food or entertainment, they will get bored. Sad but true.