Last night I had dinner with my past clients and now new friends, Jackie and Fred. It’s been four months since her wedding, yet, we stay in fairly close communication and always look forward to seeing each other. One of the many great perks of being a wedding planner is that after the wedding is long over, more often than not, I have made new friends who I hope to stay in contact with for a long time to come. After reflecting on my lovely evening, I started thinking about some of the relationships I’ve made whether it be with brides, grooms and sometimes even parents of the couple, and it made me realize the importance of good chemistry when working with a couple on their one and only wedding day. This is not only true from my perspective, but from the couple’s end as well.
When searching for a planner or any vendor, for that matter, so many couples get caught up in their to do list and timeline that they don’t take the time to really find the right person for them. It is just a task to check off of the to do list and in the end they are often disappointed with their choice later to discover the perfect planner, photographer, caterer, or whatever the case may be. While, I know I contradict every bridal magazine and planning website out there, for the most part when my clients are selecting their team for the day, I say, “pay no attention to the timing on the to do list”. Coming from a “planner”, I often come up against resistance and sometimes am ignored, but those who do listen develop the perfect team to implement their wedding day. These are the couples that have the least amount of stress throughout the process as well as the couples who wake up on their wedding day without a care in the world, knowing they’ve hired the perfect planner, band, stylist, etc. who will stop at nothing to ensure everything is exactly as they have imagined.
I often tell my clients that planning a wedding is a lot like a relationship. You will go through emotional ups and downs, bouts of peace and moments of insanity and so many more emotions you can’t even begin to envision when you start the process. Now, the last thing I’m suggesting is that you must be BFF with any of your vendors, including your planner, but it is very important to find that perfect match in someone who can ride the roller coaster with you right by your side. Someone who you have great chemistry with and someone you could imagine coming to if you have any issues be it family related or that your shoes came in two days before the wedding in the wrong size. So, no matter where you are in the planning process, take some time to really think about the decisions you are making. Don’t just think about checking things off the to do list in whatever arbitrary timeframe that has been established by your source, but really spend the time to find the absolute perfect fit for yourself and your wedding. Make sure your vendors understand your vision, mesh well with your temperament and overall you trust them. Don’t feel guilty if someone looks great on paper, you love one wedding from their portfolio, they are the least expensive option or your best friend loved them so you should too. If you don’t have chemistry or it just doesn’t feel right, look elsewhere. Believe me, and this is just the planner’s perspective, but I would much rather have a potential client turn down my services from the very beginning rather than to spend months and months in a relationship with a couple who doesn’t trust me. If you don’t take the time to ensure everyone is the right fit, the roller coaster ride I call the wedding planning process, becomes so much more stressful than it ever needs to be.
Oh, and in case you are wondering, the picture above is of a PB&J best friend necklace which can be found at www.violetgumdrop.com. So cute and I thought appropriate since you and your planner should be as good together as whatever favorite combination you can imagine.